Kara Mae Davis

Kara Mae was born 11-2-2013 at 3:45 AM in Grand Island at Saint Francis Medical Center.  She weighed 5 pounds 14.5 ounces and measured 20 3/4 inches long.
On 11-1-2013 we had one of our last scheduled OBGYN appointments.  The nurse and doctor took my blood pressure a couple of times because it was 140/90.  Too high!  I was only dilated 1 1/2 cm but with the blood pressure so high, our doctor decided it was a good idea to head to the hospital!  So, we drove Justin's work car home, loaded up our bags, and headed to the hospital.  We checked in at the birth center and we were given room 221.  We had great nurses!  Julie, Denise, Steph, and the rest of birthing center staff were great!  At 8 PM I was given a small pill behind my cervix to help continue dilating.  Justin and I walked around the birthing floor about 4 times and contractions had started to get stronger.  I made it to 6 1/2 cm dilated before I decided to have an epidural.  I had told Justin to remind me that I wanted to try to deliver naturally without any medicine.  But in the heat of the moment....I quickly changed my mind!!  I've always been a bit indecisive!  :)  I was given an epidural around 2:30 AM and practiced pushing a bit before the nurses told me to hold on so the doctor could get there to deliver our baby!  Needless to say, she was born shortly after and I didn't have to push too long at all!!  She came out crying and BEAUTIFUL!  I told her we had waited and waited for her while Justin cut the cord.  She was here finally!!!  They whisked her away to do her APGAR which was good, bathe her, and brought her back to me.  Justin finally got to hold her a bit later.  It was all pretty surreal but the most scary thing was that she'd had a knot in her cord.  We hadn't had an ultrasound since 20 weeks because she was continuing to grow and develop.  After having an ultrasound every visit up to that point, we had made it past the "scary" point and didn't need to continue having regular ultrasounds.  BUT she is okay...healthy, beautiful, and growing already!  We couldn't have asked for a better experience, a healthier and more beautiful baby girl, or our hearts to be filled with more love for her and each other!

Hot momma!

Our pregnancy has continued to go well!  We are getting very excited to meet our baby girl soon!  It's been one long and hot summer.  The heat may have been worse to deal with then the morning sickness in the beginning of the pregnancy.  But, it's cooling down and my joints, hands, and feet are SO very thankful!  The past few months have been uneventful as she's just kept growing!  We start our weekly OB appointments soon which is making it seem very close :)

Libby took some awesome pictures for us and "Winnie" as she calls her!  She did a great job and I can't thank her enough for the best pictures!!

Baby GIRL Davis

We have officially made it through the first trimester and healthfully moving through the second trimester.  We had the minor bump in the road during trimester one but since that time no more scares!  I stopped exercising due to the miscarriage scare per OBGYN orders.  I think that it has helped but I do miss being as active as I was.  All in good time.
Last Thursday, we went in for our 20 week ultrasound and were able to find out we're having a girl!  Little baby had her head down toward my right hip and her rump was up near my left with her legs crossed.  It took her a little while to move around a bit as the doctor checked all her anatomy looking for anything abnormal.  She's growing well and she eventually stretched her legs out to show us girl parts!  I have to say we were both surprised!  I had dreams that baby was a boy and the Chinese birth charts all said boy.  Well, I guess those aren't scientific enough because they were all wrong.
We are so happy that she is healthy so far and growing stronger and bigger each day.  Regardless, boy or girl, we are going to be parents at last.  My previous post described us bring so guarded to be excited or look toward the future.  We now feel the joy and excitement that we felt the first time we were pregnant.  It catches me throughout the day and I'll start crying tears of happiness as I look at the pictures from the ultrasound.  It's just so amazing and I can't wait to hold her in our arms.  We LOVE her so much already.  I've begun to feel movement...more so at night as during the day being busy at work takes my mind off my tummy.  It's such a different feeling but now I can't wait until I feel it again.
When you've waited for something and learned a stronger level of patience (although some of our friends have waited and yearned for this longer than we have and are still patiently waiting and trying to conceive) than you ever thought possible, it changes how you view everything.  From indifference early on out of fear to now a relaxed contentment and joy.  We have been able to relax and feel excitement!  There's so much to get done before baby comes but I know it will all fall into place before we know it!

I've been thinking a lot lately!

I've been thinking a lot about the past few years lately.  Justin and I have been through quite a bit together.  We will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary this June and it seems like time has just slipped by.

We are having a baby.  I am farther along than I ever have been and I wish I could say that I've let fear go but I haven't quite yet.  I wish I could say that I've enjoyed being pregnant but I can't because I haven't at all.  I wish I could say that I am so thankful and grateful that we've made it this far but I haven't said that in my head or out loud.  To avoid any worry or stress, I've let indifference settle in...not to say that I am not excited about having a baby come November.  But I just haven't quite reached the point where I am utterly thrilled like I was the first time I was pregnant a few years ago.  I can't quite let myself think everything will go as planned now that we're past the critical first trimester.  For those that know me well, I've always been a half-empty glass girl.  I don't expect the best in people.  I am always waiting for the bottom to fall out.  That's not to say that I live my life thinking and preparing for the worst but I don't get my hopes overly up.  I brace for the "realistic" events that could occur.  "Realistic" as a friend put it and I thought that fit perfectly.  If anything the past few years have taught me, I take one day, week, month at a time.  For the most part, pregnancy has been typical..."night" sickness instead of morning sickness, fatigue, and food aversion.  When I say I feel indifferent toward this pregnancy, I mean I haven't taken belly pictures, haven't read any books I've been given, haven't talked much about names, haven't decided for sure if we're going to find out what it is, haven't started to prepare for anything!  This makes me feel guilty.  I asked a friend if the baby could hear my thoughts of frustration and ill-will about being so sick and selfishly indifferent.  She assured me that no he/she couldn't but I just can't quite send enough love to this baby to take away the guilt I have felt for the past few weeks.  We wanted for so long to be pregnant, carry to term, and have our child.  I have ideas in my head of what I'll tell our baby when he/she arrives but I'm so scared to let myself think of making it to that point.  Justin and I don't talk a lot about "happy" baby topics because we are constantly on edge bracing for what could go wrong.  I suppose that's why I've developed this indifference.  We are resilient and strong from the past losses and can deal with every disappointment but now we need to learn how to accept a happy ending.  We have another ultrasound next week and I keep telling myself that once I make it to 15 weeks, see the growing baby, hear a strong heartbeat, I will be able to start getting excited.  I hope my thought process is right.

We had a scare a week or so ago when I awoke at 3:30 AM bleeding and cramping.  I panicked and called Justin immediately as he was out of town.  For the next 3-4 hours I laid in bed hoping but knowing what could or could not be happening.  I called and scheduled an appointment that morning.  The OBGYN performed an ultrasound showing a strong heartbeat but placenta previa...my placenta had lowered and come to find out later, my progesterone had dipped low.  BUT baby D was okay.  So, pelvic rest was prescribed and I stopped exercising, bending, lifting, etc.  I have felt better overall as "night" sickness is letting up and I'm not as tired as I was.  I think the rest part was one of the most important recommendations!  We were told that I will be on all hormonal injections until I deliver as well just to ensure my progesterone levels don't drop too low.  I know our doctors are trying their best and I feel more comfortable with them than any others we have seen.  I trust what they are doing and recommending to us.  So, we will wait anxiously for next week and then the next 25 weeks after that until we get to the end and deliver a healthy baby.

2013 is THE year!!

It's been quite a while from the last post and let me tell you there have been some major changes!

February brought my birthday, a quick trip to Omaha for a continuing education training and visit with family, cinnamon hearts!! for Valentine's day, and a weekend to work.  We had more cold and snow this year so we pretty much stayed inside except for the shoveling duties that called after a good ol' snow storm.

March brought another continuing education in Omaha but we were pounded by a ice/snow storm and didn't make it back to Grand Island on time...glad to get home after that 4 hour I-80 trip!  The highlight of March was nicer weather and the Vagina Monologues with Libby!  We walked outta there a bit smarter, sassier, and loving our vaginas.  It was informative and entertaining.  How I've never been to it before I do not know but I will not miss it again.  And I put my name down to act in next year's production!  Hope they take me!

April has been busy with a garage sale,visit from mom and dad, my brother in town for work, Justin visiting Grandma in Taylor, a date night with Justin, and.....drum roll....

WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A BABY!!!

It's official.  I and baby are healthy and we've made it past the first trimester.  We are on our way to becoming parents in November.  We have the Pope Paul Institute in Omaha, Andrea in Grand Island, and our new OBGYN in Grand Island to thank for being able to share this wonderful news.  Justin has been giving me hormone injections since January which have helped regulate my hormones enough to support LIFE!  The first trimester has been full of ups and downs but overall we're doing well so far!

Happy 2013!

Since my last update, we've been pretty busy with day-to-day hum drum of work and home.  Justin has been hunting a lot.  We celebrated his birthday this month.  He will be picking out a puppy in March!  Blaze is ready to have a "buddy" in the backyard!  He's such a good dog so we're getting another German Short Hair from the same breeder.  Justin is looking forward to having lots and lots of time to spend training the pup! ;) 

There are some developments on the health front that are worth noting.  I had surgery before Christmas to look for endometriosis and check a few other things.  The surgery was laproscopic and only took about 2 hours.  I had a bad reaction with the anesthesia and ended up staying at the hospital most of the day.  But once I was able to calm my stomach and wake up enough, Justin drove me back to my parents house to recover.  The doctor was able to laser off the endometriosis so I won't require another surgery.  Since surgery, I have been taking various hormones and thyroid medications to help normalize all the hormonal side of things.  I have not felt this FANTASTIC since before I was pregnant two years ago. 

I appreciate all that the doctors at the institute in Omaha have done for us over the past few months.  We are also grateful for our contact here in GI; Andrea has a tough job advocating for all of her clients but she's a sweetheart and helps so much!  We've made some other healthy changes too.  I always thought my diet was pretty restricted due to my Celiac's disease.  But I've changed that thinking once I started doing the Paleo diet.  I have followed the 80/20 approach so I still have days where I "cheat" and eat something refined and full of SUGAR.  For that 80%, I've reduced the amount of sugar and grains I eat.  I still get carbohydrates but they come from fresh vegetables and a few fruits.  My meals consist mainly of meats and vegetables.  I've mastered a few baking recipes using coconut flour, honey, and maple syrup.  It's different but so worth the wonderful, healthful feeling of no "gut" issues.  I can tell how a "cheat" hurts me and I feel the effects of it for a few days after.  I have so much more energy.  I don't have blood sugar spikes like I had when I would consume grains and sugar in high amounts.  I don't experience the afternoon "fog" I used to after eating lunch.  This may be "TMI" but my stomach issues are completely gone when I follow the Paleo "template" so it's very worth it!

We've made a lot of changes in the past few months.  All of  which have made an impact toward improving our health but making our dreams a possibility!  We are so very hopeful that we will be able to have a child in the near future.  More hopeful than we've been in months.  I can honestly say, it doesn't seem so far off now.  But maybe what's helped the most...is the fact that peace now fills our hearts.  We know we have done and are doing all that we can.  The rest is out of our hands.

Fall Updates

Remember how your mom used to tell you "well, life just goes faster as you get older"...well, she was right about that and a few other things!  :)  Here's another update because I haven't been too on top of this blog lately.  I'd like to say it's because we've been having WAY too much fun!

October was a busy month!  Justin was away for a week for training, had some great Crossfit Heartland girls over to the house for a night of fun, traveled to Omaha to see my family and celebrate my mom's birthday, celebrated Emersen's birthday and ended the month with a dentist visit.  Woo!  Nothing too out of the norm for October but still went fast just the same.

November, now that's where it got real exciting ;)  Libby and I had a wild night of dinner, drinks, and dancing in Lincoln.  It was by far the best night of fun I have ever had with Mrs. Libby Todd.  YOU ARE SO FUN and I love you!  She is the best friend I could ever ask for and best thing is that she's never too far, has all the right words of advice, is patient and never gets too tired of me!  Last one being most important of all!  What else happened in November...a friend at work got married, I voted, caught up with my great friend, Ida, who stopped by as she traveled through GI (best surprise ever - it was so great to see you), celebrated both of my sister-in-law's birthdays, went hunting with the Davis clan, and got some fantastic news from our doctor in Omaha.

I found this on a infertility website the other day...
 God "knows the plans he has for you.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to giver you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29: 11-13
I haven't been to church in months and to be quite honest with you, I don't want to or plan to go in the near future.  I hate to be so blunt but my faith has disappeared with the past year.  I read this the other day and wanted to believe and have faith that God does have a plan.  But I can't let myself believe that everything will be okay and that someday I will hold our child in my arms.  Hope seems such a futile thing.  Not that I am hopeless.  I just don't let myself be hopeful to the point that if disappointment hits, the fall is not so long and hard.  This has been the longest "waiting" game of my life.  I have developed a level of patience I never knew I could.  I have truly accepted the things I can not control and given my struggle up to somebody.  Whether that somebody is God, I don't know.  Someday I hope my faith returns.  But for now, it is what it is.

I would have to say the two things that pulled me out of depression were 1. Justin and 2. Crossfit.  Seems obvious with the first...Justin is the love of my life.  Simple as that...love of my life.  Crossfit - more than the exercise but also sincerely great friends I have made, having something to look forward to each day, and something to focus on other than miscarriage, doctor's visits, questions without answers.  I can put my energy into something that I can control.  And if, my body can not carry a child, then I'm going to do everything I can to make my body as healthy and strong as possible.

Oh and FYI...the Duchess is pregnant!!  :)

Lincoln!!

Dancing queen!

Blaze, my lunch buddy :)