Today was a good day that seemed to end badly. Nothing to do with work but just simply coming home and cleaning up around the house. I was organizing bills and filing some paperwork. I ran across the ultrasound pictures from our first baby. There are moments when the pains of this loss still hit. Especially with the recent loss still fresh on my mind. It's overwhelming and so despairing. I can be just fine one minute and the next in a total loss of sadness and depression.
I put the pictures in a frame because our baby was so beautiful. The picture was just sitting atop some papers from the doctor so I finally decided to do something with it to preserve it a bit better. He brought us so much joy from the first moment we knew of him and so did his brother or sister. We will try again and hope to have better success next time. Little reminders like this will be around for the rest of our days. I think it's inevitable that every time I see a baby, baby clothes/toys, pregnant women, etc. it will be a reminder. But I want to be reminded of the best and happiest moments we've had trying to have children. It gets tiring being sad and depressed. So, I think it's to the point that it's okay to move on again and be thankful for our sweet guardian angels. There goes the fine one moment and gone the next feelings! Haha. Well, I've got my emotional swings pegged. Justin recognized them long ago....:) We will have a baby - just have to be patient.
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